What would you say if I told you I am not real?

I love, therefor I am.  Is that not the attitude most individuals feel is their own?  It isn't "bad" by any means, after all it's important to feel as though you're accomplishing something good.  It helps to understand the complexity of a state of being.  Maybe that's the first point actually, that love is not an emotion or simple feeling you get.  It truly is a state of being, like taking acid, or winning the lottery and suddenly becoming rich.  I remember some time ago, I attended a church service with a woman who I can scarcely remember but I'm almost certain she was my mother at the time.  Be aware that my love for my mother was most potent, it was an incredibly long time ago and I'm not entirely sure about many details.  I do remember quite clearly something I heard the "exalted priest" exclaim with some authority (at least he felt so) that there was two kinds of love.  He called the first kind "adfectionis" (considering the temporal difference, Latin was spoken during mass) this was the "lesser love, conditional love" and I consider the term Mortal Love to be included.  This is love as you understand it...  I was confused at that time because the denotations of "unconditional" was a prerequisite to those concepts that included love, well at least that is how I understood it.  However I was quite young and dumb.  I was as ignorant as the masses that exist on this planet today.  I continued to listen as he began explaining another kind of love.  He called it "Animus infinitum".  Which I later would come to understand as the Diety itself.  Literally it means "heart without end".  However, like so much in the world of spiritual understanding, you MUST NOT take anything literally unless you are instructed to by someone you are quite certain is credible and you would without hesitation, leave your eternal soul in that persons hands.  All the holy books and writings handed down to the current generation are presented in a language of Symbolism and instructed by utilization of Allegory.  This is a concept of imperative significance if you wish to comprehend the nature of yourself and especially of life after this one.  I shall be frank with you.  Once upon a time I was instructed in the mysteries of a religion that worshipped a diety who condoned the sacrifice of human blood.  I was quite ingratiated into the finely tuned rituals and priest work involved.  As I raised through the degrees of the initiated few, it became more and more clear to me that this "diety" who I was sure existed, was in fact a myth.  I remained silent and deep within my thoughts anytime the subject was mentioned.  One day after a grueling initiation ritual in which I was to walk through a dark hallway, completely nude while the other members shouting the holy edict began throwing hot wax upon my flesh, and at the end I was to beg for a sign of my acceptance and if it was not shown, I would be slaughtered by my bretherin, by the use of agate flails at the end of blood stained whips that were kept only in this dim hallway.  I did in fact receive a "sign from the diety"...  As I would later learn, this "sign" is pre-conceived to the ritual itself by the elder council.  The first council meeting I was given the true account of the facade I had given my life too.  As space does not permit me to indulge, I shall not go into specifics here.  However I will tell you that the entire religion was a fabrication by the very men who founded the faith.  An elaborate story was constructed out of a few strides of luck and the cunning guile of the men upon the entire group of settlers.  Basically, they took control of a situation and then took full and complete advantage of an innocent gathering of folks who trusted and confided in them.  Those poor people were living in a community which took every slither of sweat, blood, and tears to maintain even the minimal amount of resources. Many infants died quickly after birth and those who lived into old age were always "chosen" for sacrifice, so that "their wisdom shall be divided through the village".  As it turned out, this was all by design.  Every detail of every citizen was discussed in full without any discretion.  The council decided who, what, where, and when for every birth, marriage, and death.  It was decided by the council, not God..  I then became adept concerning the techniques of "crowd control" and "fear mongering".  Those were dark days within my existence.  Now in this present life, I can say that I am no longer fearful or controlled by anyone except for the most Exalted ONE and my own mind.  Since the days of darkness I have been initiated into a very great many of varying mysteries.  Some of which still exist today...  I am proficient in the Christian, Judaic, Muslim, Buddhist, Hinduism, and the many Pagan Mysteries.  As one might have concluded; I am a member of many organizations of credibility and discreet extantism.  I can proudly say I grace the ranks of Freemasonry, Rosecruxian, Golden Dawn, and some others I would like to announce, however the edict and prohibitions declare that such an admission is illegal.  Mainly because the admittance of membership is an admission of the organization's existence.  Some of them you may have heard of and most likely have the wrong conception; whilst others are quite unknown to even those who pride themselves on Esoteric knowledge.  I am quite fond of the mystic traditions of the ancient persuasion and relish in my ability to perform many forms of ceremonial and lesser magics.  Sorcery is of course thought of as "make believe" or fantasy.  It is not exactly as it might appear within the movies and stories of Hollywood.  I can only say for right now that the operations of this world in the eyes of the sceptic are all logically explained by this invisible (but measurable) force or that one..  One explanation for one seemingly wild occurrence is almost always replaced by others as time moves its course.  It's a very real force..."thought".  The entire world is nothing but consciousness and mind, transmuted through the light of the sun.  This sun is the father of matter and the material universe or plane is born from thought.  A mental creation of The ONE.  Maybe in another post I shall explain more.  Please share my articles to those of like minds.  Thank you.