A quick word concerning me.

I am often asked certain questions based on particular qualities or appearances I exhibit in effort to express my unique personality and values.  Normally the issue of religion peeks its way through the inquiries of philosophy and personal quibs, such as; sexual preference, penis size, living arrangement, and if I have children.  I love being interviewed...  I guess I can admit quite plainly that my favorite subject is myself, mostly because of my ability to impress and show off my intellect, vernacular, and elegant manner of arrangement topics pertaining to myself in a coherent and easily comprehendible exhibition.  The question regarding religion is a big disappointment to the inquirer on most occasions.  The answer happens to be "all of them".  To which I can offer no easy embellishment because the subject is not easy to embellish on.  It constitutes hours worth of teaching the basic concepts of each religion, so that I can fill the next few days with comprehensive esoteric denotations regarding each specific "mystery" (the esoteric name for religion's concept story which is symbolic in nature and explained through allegorical tale).  This is normally no small task that is met with extreme predujice and emotions of a very hostile nature...  If you explain a religion that dates three thousand years before Christ, and it's the same exact story as Christ, except different names and dates, the "true believer in Christ" normally gets very angry and believes you are exhibiting a falsehood of some kind in order to further disturb or perturb them.  This is not true however..  It's just that Christ is not a true story, it's simply a symbolic version of an allegorical tale which was supposed to inspire and control the simpletons and enlighten the elite.  However the esoteric meaning is what truly counts and that...that is a true and definite thing that is very real and has definite meaning in a real way.  It's how you become God...  I know that most people will disagree or something...  But this is very true.  There is God within you and without you.  A subjective AND objective reality.  Maybe we can lead each other to the promised land...  You can teach me to be a human and I can teach you a few secrets for your trouble.